Monday, February 27, 2012

Money Monday!

I haven't updated in quite a while about how the housing fund is going. In this case, no news is good news.  We've been able to save our goal amount every month.  That's a testament to God's goodness in our lives.  Assuming we are here for the next 2-3 years, we should be able to buy a house that meets our needs with no mortgage!

Weird thing has happened, though.  The house the meets our needs may be getting smaller.  We have 4 kids and a three-bedroom apartment.  Also, currently, we have four children sleeping in one room.  Why?  Because they want to, and why not?  They sleep well together so I like letting them.  Chloe and Camilla sleep together.  Coralynn sleeps in her crib even though her sisters are campaigning to have her moved into their bed.  Carson sleeps on the floor.  And they sleep this way by choice.

Something about this seems off to lots of people, especially in my generation.  There seems to be an idea that people above a certain income group shouldn't have children sharing rooms, let alone beds.  And brothers and sisters in the same room?  That's just wrong for so many.  Why?  Because.  There is no reason outside of because.  (I understand that some people's children don't sleep well in the same room, but that isn't the case for us, and it isn't the point of this conversation.)

Somewhere along the line, we've bought into this lie that space is a need.  Houses are getting bigger and farther apart.  Cars are getting huge.  (And tiny.  An interesting juxtaposition.)  We believe, for whatever reason, that each child needs a certain square footage of their own to be happy and productive human beings.  I've been told by lots of people that Chloe needs her space.  Chloe needed her space for 6 weeks, and then she decided she like being with her sisters more.

 I can hear y'all arguing with me.

"But, Lisa, once Chloe is a teenager, she'll want more privacy!"  Yes, she will.  I want a Louis Vuitton handbag.  When Chloe gets to be teenager will somebody buy me the purse?  I think dealing with a teenager should earn me the purse!  Is it my responsibility to buy more house than we need because Chloe, or one of the others, wants more space?  Why does her want of space mean she has to have her own bedroom?  Maybe the space she'll want isn't physical, but space to be who she is? Or maybe, as a teenager, she'll need to learn to deal with people in her space?  Perhaps what she'll need, after realizing that boys are dumb, girls are mean, and parents are clueless, is a sister she can trust and talk to late at night.

I have no idea what my children's futures' hold.   I am convinced, however, that an extra 1000 square feet won't determine their place in this world.  I'm equally confident that teaching them to truly decipher between needs and wants will bring them more peace than their own bedroom every could.

3 comments:

Brett and Meghan said...

Amen and Amen!! I'm not saying all kids should have to be in the same room, or that it's wrong for a kid to have their own room. But, these days people like to look at you cross eyed if ::gasp:: your children share a room! And you are right- a want isn't a need. And sometimes what we need isn't what we want.

Anonymous said...

I agree that what they are content with is probably enough and that encouraging bonding is a wonderful thing. Privacy when they are older is something to address at some point, but I just wanted to warn you when you're back in the states that technically the boys and girls (over age 6 in most states) must have separate rooms if you were to ever have something come up that prompts social services to get involved (even a few broken arms can trigger this, such as happened to a friend of mine). I'm not saying I agree or disagree with it, but I just wanted to give you friendly food for thought! I know after living in other countries, it's bizarre the rules we've come up with in this country (I know why they've come about, but it is shocking and sad). -Amanda Y.

panaMOM said...

Wow, Amanda, that's interesting. I feel for people living in 2-bedroom places!

We definitely will have a house with enough bedrooms for Carson to have his own. Since it can be avoided, I don't want Carson and CHloe sharing a room as they become teenagers.

BUT, I'm definitely changing my mind on "needing" a 5-bedroom house so each of them can have their own room!

Thanks for your comment!