Friday, August 26, 2011

Life Verse


Do you have a life verse?  A piece of Scripture that guides your waking moments.  Or instead of Scripture, maybe a wise quotation that plays in the back of your mind.  A sort of mantra.  For me, the life verse changes.  As I go through struggles, trials, victories, and seasons, my guiding words change to wisdom that gets me through the next wave or storm life tosses at me.  So it is for Chloe.

I'm not big on name meanings, but it was important to me that the kids have a verse for their life.  I often talked about having those verses painted on the walls behind their beds.  I struggled to come up with verses for Carson and Camilla.  But Chloe's verse?  I've always known Chloe's verse.  And for those who have ever known Chloe, they know the verse is hers.  It feels written directly to her.  For her.  And where else would you find this verse, but in the Beatitudes.  Matthew 5:8

Blessed are the pure in heart: for they shall see God.

I'm not going to pretend to understand the depth of theology of those simple words, but I know that Chloe has a pure heart.  And I know she seeks after God.  And she sees Him.  Those words are a promise of eternity, but I believe them to be a truth for today.  She's 9 years old, and those words have always been my guide in raising her, training her, and believing in her.  The pure in heart will see God.

But now we've hit a crossroad.  (Quite literally, ironically enough.)  She's being teased at school.  Why?  Because the pure of heart are easy targets.  She's quick to react.  To feel.  To hurt.  This blessing of a pure heart comes with it vulnerability.  Her easy willingness to love you makes it easy for you to hurt her.

As she has comes home crying, a verse has been in my head.  First softly, and then deafeningly, the words of the verse have rung in my brain.  But not the whole verse.  Just pieces.  Love.  Despise.  Pray.  Hurt.  I know I know this verse, but I can't place it.  Can't figure out where it is.  Can't come up with the context or even the entirety of the verse.  I finally look it up online.  And it stares back at me.  And I stop breathing for a moment.  And I sob.

Not only because this has become my 9 year old's new verse.  Although it seems too much for someone so young.  But also because of where this verse is found.  It's in the same book.  The same Chapter.  Jesus hasn't even taken a pause from "her" verse when he says her "new" verse.  It's all the same passage.  The same thought.  The same heart.  The same Word.   Matthew 5:44-45a

44But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you;
 45That ye may be the children of your Father which is in heaven

It feels too much of a call for a child.  I struggle to love the people I love, but now Chloe has to love, to bless, to benefit, and to pray for these girls that are causing her so much pain.  I want to know how.  How can He honestly expect this out of someone so young?  Someone who is hurting so much?  How was she able get up this morning, and cheerfully pray for these girls when I want to do anything but pray for them?  How?

Because He already equipped her.  Chloe is the pure of heart.  She shall see God.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Lisa, your story broke my heart and I am so sorry Chloe has to endure this pain. I have been going through the same thing with Jordan all these years. It is so painful as a mother to watch your child's self-esteem errode by the words of others. My only hope is that Chloe's torment ends soon as the "new" wears off.

I can offer my prayers and the words of Eleanor Roosevelt which hang in my office: "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent" Tell her to stay strong.

Love,
Aunt C

panaMOM said...

Thanks, Aunt C! I appreciate it!!

lizbeth321 said...

Many prayers for Chloe (and her mom!)