In those 10 minutes

For reasons I can't completely explain, the Lord has given me a heightened awareness right now.  In even the most passing interactions, I'm super alert.  Almost hyper alert.  Every word seems to matter in a way it doesn't normally.

The other night I was at a birthday party for a friend's twin babies. There were lots of people there, and I did my best to say speak to everyone I knew if only for a few minutes.  You know, just the common courtesy sort of thing.  As I was coming out of the house with my plate of food, I passed a lady that I don't really know.  We were involved in the same function in the fall so we've spent time together, but I wouldn't really call her a friend.  More than an acquaintance less than a friend. You know those relationships.

We stopped and spoke for no more than 10 minutes.  I was teasing her that she's my workout role model.  She laughed and said something along the lines of, "You could workout all the time too, but then you wouldn't have the time to devote to the other things you want to do." 

I'm confident she made the comment as a passing one.

It's been 10 days.  And, I'm still thinking about it.

She didn't say anything I didn't already know.  And, I'm pretty good with time management.  That isn't what got to me.  It was the implied belief that if I wanted to be a workout guru, I could be.  I just needed to put in the time.

It made me wonder.  Do I put the time into things that I want to do or to become or to know?  Or do I quit on myself because I've decided that I can't do it?

Then, I got a Dove wrapper.

"Keep the promises you make to yourself."
I'm reliable.  I'm notoriously reliable.  It's kind of my M.O.  It's something I work hard to be.  But, am I that same person with myself?  Or do I make excuses and wimp out?  Hmm.
In just 10 minutes of passing conversation, the Lord's spoken to my heart.  It's time for me to step up. Step up for me.    It's time to believe that I can do the things that I desire to do.  Time to live life with the understanding that having to work for something is worth it the energy.  Time to be as reliable to myself as I am to the rest of the world.
It's just took 10 minutes to figure that out.  10 minutes and 35 years.


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