Reeling.

I know I've taken a bit of a break between posts.  I have a few more pictures from my beloved VBS that I want to share, but I haven't.  Life has gotten busy.  We've been dealing with immigration/residency stuff which is always a lesson in patience building.  But, mostly, I've been reeling.

Reeling from 5 words spoken to me.   5 words spoken to me about a month ago. 

No one told me my kids were sick.  No one told me a loved one had died.  No one challenged the Truth of Jesus. No one told me much of anything like that.

Yet, I'm reeling.

reeling- having a feeling of being whirled about and in danger of falling down

Exactly.

How can 5 words with no tragic or life-changing consequences have me reeling weeks later?

This is one question I do know the answer to: because they made me question everything I thought I knew about... well, about.

I thought I understood.  Those 5 words told me I didn't. 

I thought I believed.  Those 5 words told me to question.

I knew.  Now, I don't.

And, I'm reeling.

Tony and I talked briefly at the time about those 5 words, and I'm sure he thought that was the end of it.  I'm pretty sure I thought that was the end of it.

Until Friday night.  (Me and those "until" statements!  Ugh!)

Tony and I were chatting about the things of Jesus with a dear friend of ours.  And, I started talking and next thing I knew I was in tears about those 5 words.  Heart broken, I cried over those 4 words that I'm fairly confident no one else remembers.

Reeling.  Still.

I have no idea how to feel.  No idea how to react.  No idea what to say or do or think or believe or anything.

Reeling.



yes, Mom, I'm fine.  No, Mom, you didn't say anything to upset me ;)

Comments

Mandy said…
Oh, Lawd. It was probably me. I tend to say 5 words too much. Lol. Just wanted you to know I read ya and feel ya and am praying with and for you.
panaMOM said…
LOVE how an abstract post brings out the guilt in everybody! LOL! And, our friendship has proven that we can talk out the hurts. So thankful to call you my friend!

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