We're Moving!!
I've been waiting for YEARS to write this blog post. I thought I would be all emotional, and that is probably coming, but I'm pretty unemotional right now. In that vein, here are the details...
Where: Deerfield, IL
This is everyone's favorite first question. Deerfield is the company's new corporate headquarters and is a northern Chicago suburb. Yes, we get it's going to be a lot colder and snowier than we're used to! For now, we're choosing to look forward to the fun of changing seasons and a different climate. We haven't seen real snow since 2007, so we are truly going to enjoy it. I'm also looking forward to introducing Chicheme to cold weather. His heavy coat is going to be so relieved!
When: late June (between the 16-28)
We don't have this date completely nailed down because Tony has to figure out some work details. Graduation is my last job responsibility and is June 15. Our Panamanian residency expires June 28th, so we will leave between those two dates. I'm hoping for the 23rd or later, because I want to have a few days to say goodbye to Panama.
Who: only 5 of us
Maybe this is the question you didn't think to ask, but now the big oh yah has settled on you. Chloe will be a senior next year, and she is halfway through a VERY challenging 2-year International Baccalaureate Diploma Program. There are no schools in Chicagoland that offer the exact combination of classes she needs, so she is staying in Panama with a good friend of mine. How do I feel about her staying? My head says, "Great!" My heart doesn't walk to talk about it.
What happens next: Chaos
We are in the process of closing down our life in Panama while it is still actively moving forward. The kids still have school and games and plans. Tony and I still have work. At the same time, we are saying goodbyes, visiting for the last times, and purging our stuff. The Lord guided me in December to purpose myself to finish grad school efficiently this semester, and I have. School ends April 24th. As of yesterday, I have completed everything. For so many reasons, I am glad to have this iron out of the fire until August.
When we arrive back in the US, Tony will almost immediately start working, and the kids and I will begin a whirlwind of trying to accomplish a sky high list of to-dos. We'll be travelling to GA to wrap up some odds and ends there. We'll be taking Chloe on multiple college visits. We'll be getting new passports for everyone. We'll enroll everyone in new schools. We'll find the closest Target, Aldi, Trader Joe's, and Starbucks.
What does that mean: We need space and time.
Though we are excited to be heading back to the US, we are actively grieving what we are leaving behind in Panama (not talking about Chloe this time). We've lived here for EIGHT years. That's the majority of the kids' lives. Some people spent the past 8 years asking us when we were returning. They completely neglected to understand that we've been building a life while they were just plotting our return. Our best friends, favorite restaurants, and safest places are all in Panama. The people who have made us laugh and held us while we cried are in Panama. The people who have shared and shaped our dreams are in Panama, The US is NOT home. Panama is home. One plane ride is not going to change that.
Please know that we love you, but we aren't going to jump into pretending that we never left. I can't describe the emotions of packing up your house, living in a hotel for a few weeks, saying permanent goodbyes to your normal, flying to another country, living in a hotel for a few weeks, and moving into a new life that you don't recognize and didn't ask for. We don't even know how to work TV's in the US!! Do you get cable or dishes or other stuff that didn't exist 8 years ago? We laugh at ourselves that every time we rent a car an employee needs to show us how to start it. Yes, we are from the US, but we- especially the kids- don't feel like it. So, please, give us space. Love us enough to be willing to just sit back and pray. Love us enough to let us cry because we feel like we lost so much.
It's because we did.
To being brave because that's the only choice,
L
Where: Deerfield, IL
This is everyone's favorite first question. Deerfield is the company's new corporate headquarters and is a northern Chicago suburb. Yes, we get it's going to be a lot colder and snowier than we're used to! For now, we're choosing to look forward to the fun of changing seasons and a different climate. We haven't seen real snow since 2007, so we are truly going to enjoy it. I'm also looking forward to introducing Chicheme to cold weather. His heavy coat is going to be so relieved!
When: late June (between the 16-28)
We don't have this date completely nailed down because Tony has to figure out some work details. Graduation is my last job responsibility and is June 15. Our Panamanian residency expires June 28th, so we will leave between those two dates. I'm hoping for the 23rd or later, because I want to have a few days to say goodbye to Panama.
Who: only 5 of us
Maybe this is the question you didn't think to ask, but now the big oh yah has settled on you. Chloe will be a senior next year, and she is halfway through a VERY challenging 2-year International Baccalaureate Diploma Program. There are no schools in Chicagoland that offer the exact combination of classes she needs, so she is staying in Panama with a good friend of mine. How do I feel about her staying? My head says, "Great!" My heart doesn't walk to talk about it.
What happens next: Chaos
We are in the process of closing down our life in Panama while it is still actively moving forward. The kids still have school and games and plans. Tony and I still have work. At the same time, we are saying goodbyes, visiting for the last times, and purging our stuff. The Lord guided me in December to purpose myself to finish grad school efficiently this semester, and I have. School ends April 24th. As of yesterday, I have completed everything. For so many reasons, I am glad to have this iron out of the fire until August.
When we arrive back in the US, Tony will almost immediately start working, and the kids and I will begin a whirlwind of trying to accomplish a sky high list of to-dos. We'll be travelling to GA to wrap up some odds and ends there. We'll be taking Chloe on multiple college visits. We'll be getting new passports for everyone. We'll enroll everyone in new schools. We'll find the closest Target, Aldi, Trader Joe's, and Starbucks.
What does that mean: We need space and time.
Though we are excited to be heading back to the US, we are actively grieving what we are leaving behind in Panama (not talking about Chloe this time). We've lived here for EIGHT years. That's the majority of the kids' lives. Some people spent the past 8 years asking us when we were returning. They completely neglected to understand that we've been building a life while they were just plotting our return. Our best friends, favorite restaurants, and safest places are all in Panama. The people who have made us laugh and held us while we cried are in Panama. The people who have shared and shaped our dreams are in Panama, The US is NOT home. Panama is home. One plane ride is not going to change that.
Please know that we love you, but we aren't going to jump into pretending that we never left. I can't describe the emotions of packing up your house, living in a hotel for a few weeks, saying permanent goodbyes to your normal, flying to another country, living in a hotel for a few weeks, and moving into a new life that you don't recognize and didn't ask for. We don't even know how to work TV's in the US!! Do you get cable or dishes or other stuff that didn't exist 8 years ago? We laugh at ourselves that every time we rent a car an employee needs to show us how to start it. Yes, we are from the US, but we- especially the kids- don't feel like it. So, please, give us space. Love us enough to be willing to just sit back and pray. Love us enough to let us cry because we feel like we lost so much.
It's because we did.
To being brave because that's the only choice,
L
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- Cousin Josh Bean